i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
