omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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