You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
