i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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