she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
