Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
honey bunches of taint.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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