omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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