I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
