Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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