Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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