I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Boobs are out for the taking
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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