Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
