U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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