My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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