So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize