I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
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Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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