if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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