I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
