Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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