Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
