If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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