i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
