I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
