think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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