we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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