i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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