Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
