i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
