my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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