I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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