the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
