im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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