He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
