Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
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your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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