you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
