honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
