That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize