bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
