a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
