If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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