I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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