quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
