I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
