Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
