i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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