It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
