It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
