He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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