If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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