With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
