your thong is hanging out like whoa
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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