OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and she was petting her beer can
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
