Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
