Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
