If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
