I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can vaginas get frostbite?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
