this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
