I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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