I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
