he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize