Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
