She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
