the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
