is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
