Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
